Shield Over My Soul
by Missjo1988
Summary: Prequel to Window to the Soul, where both Ivan and Remy grow up and realize that what they wanted was in front of them all along. Yaoi.
1. Woes of a child

_First off this is a companion and prequel to a another series on my page called Window to the Soul. This is a Yaoi fic, but don't expect any sex scenes as I really don't like writing them._

 _If you have no problem with that just enjoy_

* * *

Ivan ran up the steep hill, it wasn't far now. Remy said this was the best spot. He knew his best friend would be there on the hill waiting for him. Ivan's spiky hair was blowing through the wind the farther he got to the top. He could now see Remy waving him over. Ivan smiled at his best friend as he reached the top and the he was thrust into a hug. They had always been this way, never afraid of showing their emotions to each other.

"So this is the best place to see the fireworks?" Ivan asked as Remy stepped away.

"Yeah, I overheard some people in at the guild talking about it." Remy said as he laid down a blanket. "My mother made us sandwiches, they're in the tote." He finished as he pointed to a wicker container.

"Must be nice having a great mom. Heh, my dad didn't want me to come." Ivan said as he looked down at the ground.

"Why?" Remy asked. He knew that his friend and his father had issues.

"Today's the fantasias parade, Fairy Tail is in it and as the master's son I must attend. I get so tired of that guild. Fairy Tail this, Fairy Tail that. I'm sick of it." Ivan looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Remy found himself moving to his friend, he tried to comfort him as the tears broke free. Remy understood Ivan's pain, Ivan's father was one of the most powerful wizards in Fiore. Ivan had magic to, but he was still learning and everyone expected great things from Ivan. Remy had that expectation as well, even though his father wasn't a great mage and his mother wasn't particularly strong, it was his blood line that said he was destined for great things. Remy hugged his friend tighter as he shook with his sobs. They were only six and the pressure was already too great for Ivan. "Shh, Ivan it's okay. You're not your dad and that is fine." He said as Ivan's face looked up at him.

Ivan's mind was drifting to the fact that Remy was starting to tower over him. It calmed him down as he let go of his friend. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak out like that."

"Again its fine. That's why I'm around." He laughed to himself. He looked up seeing that the sky starting to turn dark. "I guess we should pass out the sandwiches and get ready for it."

"Yeah, what kind did she make?"

"There turkey and ham, take your pick." Remy knew, which one Ivan would want and handed him the ham one as Ivan said it.

"You always know. Why do you even ask anymore?" Ivan inquired.

Remy smiled at his best friend "Well in case one of these days you say turkey. You never know Ivan."

"Me, pick a different sandwich that will be a cold day in hell."

"Can't fault me for asking. Look its starting."

Both boys stopped as the first barrage of fireworks let up the sky. The sky looked as if it was on fire, the light blazing in different patterns. The boys were counting the smoke figures left from the explosions. Ivan felt around the blanket for some chips when his hand landed on Remy's. Remy looked to Ivan and their eyes locked. Ivan felt warm, his hand on Remy's was hot. He wanted to remove it but he didn't. His face was turning red. Remy smiled at Ivan giving him the chips from his side. This allowed them both to look away. Remy was red in the face as well. Both boys didn't look at each other during the rest of the show. Ivan's thoughts we going a mile a minute as were Remy's. Every thought made Ivan's heart beat faster. Now he felt nervous with his best friend. The finale was sounding and Ivan tried to turn his attention to it. Ivan saw the magic that was clearly his father's lighting up the sky as the last big one hit the sky. Ivan turned back to his friend that was looking at him. Ivan realized that Remy had never stopped looking at him.

"Remy?" Ivan questioned.

"Yes, Ivan?"

"The fireworks are over."

Remy looked up to see that they were indeed over. "Oh. Yea I..I knew that, hey can you help me get this packed up."

"Yea" Ivan said as he began to pick up the trash from the sandwiches as Remy got the blanket. They packed in silence until he broke it. "Remy…Do you want to talk about it?"

Remy looked up at his friend, he was red "Wah.. what do you mean?"

Ivan walked forward, his face looking directly at Remy's, he felt himself blush as he reached for Remy's hand.

Remy gave his hand easily. The redness from his face disappearing as he looked at Ivan.

"This feeling what is it?" Ivan said his heart was going crazy in his chest. This was confusing he didn't know what to think of it.

"I don't know." Remy said "Maybe it means were closer."

"What do you mean?"

"Well maybe were beyond best friends?"

"Like super best friends?"

"Yea maybe it's a sign that when we join the guild we should be partners."

"Yea! I bet that's it!"

Both boys began to laugh at their confusions. "I wonder what kind of missions we will go on." Remy said as they made their way down the hill together.

"I want an adventure, let's promise to see faraway places." Ivan smiled at this friend holding out is hand. "Pinkie swear it."

Remy let his pinkie find Ivan's "I promise, also let's get some excitement while we see those places."

"Deal" Ivan said as they finished there last trek into town. The road had cleared with the parade finishing up.


	2. First Day on the job

Today was the day. Both of them were starting their first mission. Ivan was excited to be getting out of the house and on the road.

His father was giving them both dirty looks. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

After Remy's mother passed away, he had started living with them. It was nice to have his best friend so close, but he believed that his father thought otherwise.

"Take the train to.."

"We know dad, it's not like we haven't noticed when other people have used it." He scoffed.

His father turned to him, giving him a glare. "I just want to make sure you know what you're doing ahead of time. You can mess around on later jobs, but this is your first. You are representing Fairy Tail…"

Ivan rolled his eyes as his father continued to blab. Across the table, Remy was drinking his coffee. Every once in a while, he would give Ivan a dull look, as if to say. Is he really going on like this?

He gave his friend a slight nod, noting that his father didn't notice. 'I swear if I hear the words Fairy Tail one more time, I'm going to…' He thought to himself.

He watched as Remy's eyes went wide for a second. He wanted to ask what he was thinking, but it would give him away to his father and the man would start his rant all over again.

Remy was looking at him, really looking at him. Like he was focusing really hard on something. 'How the hell did he do that?'

It was as if he heard Remy's voice, but his lips didn't move at all. What the hell was going on?

Remy must have noticed his slight look of shock. The other giving him a wild grin from across the table. 'So you can hear me?'

He went to speak, but found Remy shaking his head. Gathering what his friend wanted, he began to think over what to say. 'What am I supposed to say?'

'I don't know, just think up something.'

His eyes turned back to his father, who know had his back to them, he was still going on and on. 'I just wish he would shut up. He's taking all of the excitement out of this.'

Remy nodded back at him. 'Yeah, he does seem to prattle on for quite a while doesn't he?'

He felt himself smile. 'So what should we focus on when we get there?'

"I say we figure out where the monster is from the town's people. After that we can get rid of the thing. It's not like it's an S class mission.'

'I know right, He doesn't need to treat it like it is.'

Both of them were so wrapped up in their thoughts that they didn't hear his father finish, they weren't even aware until the man cleared his throat.

As he was pulled from his mind conversation, he found his father's face. A look of suspicion was staring back at him. Why? Not only that, but he was giving Remy the same confusing look.

His eyes found his best friend again and found him to be just as perturbed as he was.

"Is there anything you two need to tell me?" His father asked, he didn't look to happy. It even looked like he was accusing them of something.

"What do you mean Master?" Remy asked.

His father didn't answer, he just kept looking from him to Remy over and over again.

"Dad?" He questioned.

His father shook his head. "Never mind, forget I said anything." Before they could ask any more questions his father left. "Remember to contact me if you need anything." Were his last words.

Ivan looked back over at his best friend. "What the hell, was that all about?"

"I don't know. Maybe he was expecting some big to do over finally being in the guild." He wouldn't put it passed him. Somedays it felt like that was the only thing his father cared about.

"Probably." Remy agreed, as he looked up to the clock. "We should probably get going."

His own eyes found the clock and he agreed. They had much to do and he would rather get going before his father returned with another one of his speeches.

The two of them stood up, grabbing their bags that the old man had packed for them the night before, before leaving into the unknown.


	3. Uncomfortable Situations

_If you are just reading this for the Yaoi parts, this takes part during the years when Ivan and Remy are working as spies for the Kingdom of Fiore._

They had just returned to the compound, but both of them were covered in mud. That's what they got for going through a swamp on the way back.

Remy sighed as he wondered how they would split up the showering time. "You go first." He said, gesturing to the mud that was falling out of Ivan's hair.

Ivan came up to him and pointed to glob of mud that was running down his neck. "No I think you should go first. I can wait."

"If I go first then you will be waiting for a while." He rarely took fast showers, Ivan would always get after him for using all of the hot water.

Ivan seemed to ponder this. "But I will take just as long with all of this mud on me." He didn't know what to do. And as they waited the floor was filling up with mud that was dripping off of them. "We could always share it."

His eyes flashed at Ivan. "What?"

"Well, it is big enough. If we shower together, we can both use the hot water and get this gunk off."

He didn't know what to say. Their problem was solved. "Okay."

Both of them got into the bathroom and started to removed they're nasty clothing. He had just removed his top and was going for his belt when his eye caught Ivan's chest. For some reason he felt his heart start beating. He wondered why.

Pushing the thought aside he removed the rest of his clothes, making sure that all of the nasty things got into the hamper. Housekeeping would come around and get them later.

He slid past Ivan so that he could turn on the shower. They jumped in and in seconds the water at the bottom was already brown. He knew the maids would hate cleaning up this mess.

He reached for his shampoo, only to find Ivan was using it first. Ivan passed him the bottle and he started to squeeze the soap into his hand.

He watched as Ivan ran the stuff through his hair. It was rather entertaining as the man had a lot more mud and grime in it. He would have to wash it twice.

"You know, I should just cut all of this off." Ivan said as he tried to remove the grime.

He would have to agree. Ivan had grown his hair out in the last couple of months and he wasn't a big fan of it. "I've been telling you that for a while. That look just doesn't look good on you."

Ivan gave him an annoyed look. "I was just trying out something different." The man huffed as he rinsed out his hair. Just as he predicted, Ivan still had a clear trail of mud in his hair. "Dammit! Why won't it just come out?"

He stepped under the water and washed his own shampoo out. "Because it's a long mess. You know that the girls around here cut their hair off when they started these missions right?" He joked.

Ivan glared at him, but said nothing. He seemed too embarrassed at his own fate.

He sighed. "Turn around and I'll get it."

Ivan's face snapped to him and a blush started to form on his cheeks. He stared at his friend confused. Why was he blushing? "Ummm…okay…"

Thinking that Ivan was just being weird he stepped behind his friend and grabbing the shampoo bottle again. He squeezed more into his hands and reached up and began to work it into Ivan's hair.

He felt himself smirk as Ivan cursed. His friend seemed rather pissed off about this. He would tease him about cutting his hair until he actually did it, Ivan's spiky hair just didn't look good long at all. Not that he really cared what Ivan looked like. It really shouldn't have mattered to him at all, but it did.

He was shaken from his thoughts when Ivan let out a groan. He stopped in confusion. Ivan stiffened as if he was trying to hide something.

He was about to ask when Ivan mumbled something.

"What was that?"

Ivan stiffened again. "Nothing!" He said quickly. He then noticed that his best friend was trying to move away from him. Why? What was with all of this? Ivan was just acting very weird.

Ivan then sped through the rest of their shower, not saying anything. He would just nod or shake his head when he said something to him, even if it wasn't a yes or no question.

He sighed as he got out of the shower, Ivan barreled passed him, dripping water all over the floor.

He came out of the bathroom, glaring at the trail. "Didn't we do this so we didn't make a mess?" He asked, as he started into the room, not paying attention to the water that had gathered on the floor.

His foot caught the water and he slipped forward, falling over his best friend and pinning him on his bed.

He was about to ask Ivan if he was okay, but froze when he saw his friend's expression. Ivan wasn't just blushing, his eyes also seemed glazed over for some reason. As he looked down, he was having trouble looking away. His skin felt hot and his breathing became uneven.

He didn't even notice that his eyes were starting to focus on Ivan's lips. He wondered what they tasted like. Slowly he started to move forward. Not realizing that Ivan was doing the same.

"Hey, guys can you….help….me?" Both of their faces flashed to their now open door and the last person he wanted to see was standing there. He began to laugh. "Finally! I wondered when you two would figure it out. I got to tell the others. I can't believe Carolta won the bet." And with that Arlinton Brass was gone, leaving both a confused and annoyed Ivan and Remy.

He pulled himself off of Ivan, Dressing quickly. Ivan seemed to be doing the same. "So how much time do you thing we have before they start spreading that lie around?" Ivan asked, annoyed.

"We're probably too late to stop him now. We are just going to have to endure." He sighed, before laughing at his best friend.

Just before they left out the door, he wondered what all of that was about. Maybe it was because Ivan and himself had not been around any woman besides Carolta, Winoona, and Sasha and it was just a normal reaction. That was probably it. There was no way he could want to kiss Ivan. That would just be silly.


	4. The Best Shields

Remy stood out in the open. His best friend was with him. So much had happened over the years. He had enough betrayal in his life and today was a big day.

Today they were here for the child they had left behind. He could barely believe that he and Ivan shared a child all of those years ago, but Bickslow existed. He was shaking slightly. He had always imagined how this would go in his head, but he really didn't know. Fairy Tail had taken to disliking his guild and he would bet that Bickslow had been brought up with that hate.

He sighed and Ivan clapped him on the back. "Don't worry so much. Remember the worst he can say is no and even then he can't hide from who he is."

"This coming from the man that didn't want kids." He teased.

Ivan gave him an annoyed look. "He's your kid."

"But he shares your blood too." He corrected his friend.

"I know, but I never sighed up to be a father. You can do that without me. It would probably be better if he never knew that little detail." Ivan said. Clearly uncomfortable.

He sighed. "If that's what you want." He looked up at the fireworks. "Remember when we were kids. Those fireworks were a lot of fun."

"Now they're just a grim reminder of the past. We can't turn back time Remy. No matter how much we wish we could." Ivan said, as he looked up with him.

"I know, but its okay to dream every once in a while." He smiled at his friend as he took his hand and started to lead him through the crowd. They had to find their kid after all.

He tried to ignore the strange feeling traveling down his arm. It was strange. Anyone could touch him, but only Ivan could cause this to happen. He often wondered why. It was probably because they were so close. You couldn't not get closer after all of the shit they had been through.

When they reached their destination. He watched the baby that had grown into a man. Even with that visor on he knew.

The look on his face seemed to be of pure annoyance. The people around him appeared to be his friends, but they seemed too caught up in what they were doing and were leaving him out of the conversation.

There were some strange tiki like things floating above his son's head. Bickslow only knew of the magic he was born with. It made sense that he would use containers. Little did he know that it was only the beginning.

He watched the couples, they seemed to be rather happy. He found himself wondering how life would have been if he had been born a girl or if Ivan was a girl. Would they be like that?

He felt himself tense up at the thought. He reminded himself that it wasn't normal. Ivan was his best friend. Sure, every once in a while he entertained the idea, but he knew it was impossible. There was no way in a million years that they would ever be that way.

Ivan cleared his throat and he snapped from his thoughts. "What?"

"Can I have my hand back?" Ivan said.

He felt his face grow hot and watched as Ivan blinked at him a few times.

"Sorry about that. I was distracted."

"I can see that." He pointed out. He wondered why Remy just clamed up again. He did it from time to time, mostly when he was embarrassed about something.

Ivan knew the truth. He couldn't hide from it, but he couldn't act on it. Remy would just hate him if he knew.

Truth be told, he knew since the day Remy "died". His grieving had led him to question their relationship. He knew he was hopelessly in love with his friend, but it would never happen. As much as he wanted it to happen, the fear of rejection was too much to take.

As he watched the boy leave his friends, he knew it was time.

He just hoped that the shield he put up was enough. Enough to keep Remy from seeing the truth. Enough to keep Bickslow in the dark. Enough to keep him sane.

Remy may have been a shielder, but it was his soul that needed protection.

So he would hide it and deny it. It was all he could do. He wouldn't lose Remy again. He just couldn't.

The End.

Author's Note

You're probably wondering where the smut chapter is. Well I decided I didn't want to put that in. I hate writing smut and it doesn't really do much for the story. Ivan and Remy's interactions are enough. If you have read the original fic you would know. Yes, this is a call back to the first chapter of Window to the Soul. And this is finished as those who have read the series know how this ends. If you want the smut, PM me and I will send it to you. But I ask that you do not post it anywhere.


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